My friend Nay and I got stoned to the gills and jumped on a 14 hour plane ride to Auckland. Something Americans should bear in mind before taking this trip is that just about everything in New Zealand is stupid expensive, even considering the fact that we’re on the winning side of the currency exchange. A below average burger is in the $15 range, a cup of coffee is $5, and a 12-pack of Heineken can run you upwards of $40. A deep-pocketed tourist can enjoy everything from boat tours to bungee jumps, but we -as per usual- decided to get drunk and walk around the city (a total of 23 miles according to google maps). We stopped along the way to explore graveyards, buy stupid shit in creepy antique stores, try to score weed in hemp shops, trespass through random buildings and onto rooftops to take photos, and get tattoos from a 70-year-old man named Merv who once tragically tattooed his own dick through his jeans by leaning over to tie his shoe while his machine lie peacefully in his lap. He nearly proved it but we swore we believed him.
Gadzooks is a writer and photographer from Southern California who writes about himself in the third-person to sound important. At the tender age of 10 months he won first place in a baby pageant, the results of which were a handsome trophy and an unquenchable thirst for love and admiration. As such, he currently hosts 2 podcasts, is writing a book, and will probably make a movie. He’s a lifelong rap nerd with strong opinions. He’s afraid he’ll live forever.